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GDC 2015 dance card

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Hello. Here's some of my GDC plans. See you blog readers at some of them! Don't be afraid to say hey.
  • MONDAY: I fly-in and arrive in San Francisco.
  • TUESDAY: Level Design In a Day track. I'll be on-duty in the panel all day, then I'm presenting my talk at the very end of the track at 5 PM
  • WEDNESDAY: I'll be spending much of my time at #LostLevels, and then hanging out at the annual Wild Rumpus party. This is pretty much the only time at GDC where I dance; everywhere else, the music is undanceable or the nerds refuse to dance.
  • THURSDAY: I'll probably visit Alcatraz; there's an Ai Weiwei exhibition currently going on. I'm also looking forward to the Adventure Design minitalks later that night.
  • FRIDAY: I'll go to a talk or two maybe? Also might flee Moscone and just take a nice walk around Land's End / Sutro Baths. I guess I'll see what I feel like.

GDC 2015 dispatches / minutiae

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Here are some thoughts I thought during GDC 2015.
  • Virtual reality: I didn't get to try Valve's fancy new thing that requires everyone to clear out a mini-holodeck in their apartment, but I was pleasantly surprised by Google Cardboard. I tried it once before, and disliked it, but I tried it again and now I think it's not bad as a VR solution. I appreciate the transparency and "honesty of materials" -- it is basically a cardboard box that holds a phone to your face, it doesn't try to pretend to be something else, while still delivering on the all-important affordance of VR headset as elaborate blindfold.
  • Phony war: The big technical news of free engine access for Unity 5, Unreal 4, and Source 2 were inflated non-announcements. They've been practically giving away Unity and Unreal for a while now; 90% of Unity feature-set is free, and Unreal only required you to subscribe for a month and then you could cancel it and keep it... and the details and workflow for Source 2 aren't public yet, other than a requirement to offer first look rights to Valve or something? So again I think there's no real story here, other than positioning these engines as the new "big three" versus Unreal, CryEngine, and idTech trinities of yore. 
  • Generations: This year, quite a few NYU students attended GDC for the first time, and I felt some modicum of responsibility. For better or worse, a lot of young people invest GDC week with a lot of emotions, and it's really important that community elders (ugh, am I one of those? let's hope not) are there to help nurture their spirits. Things like the annual Wild Rumpus party or Lost Levels or Richard Lemarchand's GDC Feet tour are about articulating and performing considerate attitudes toward games and play, to imagine this culture as something shared and owned by everyone. A lot of teaching game development is about emotional education -- to deal with people saying difficult things about your work, the ability to absorb success or absorb your disappointment and not let it crush you... so please, I beg you, think of the children!
  • Biz-culture: In contrast to what I just said in the previous bullet, I also sensed an increasingly fractured community. There's a steadily widening gulf between a games space deeply concerned with sales figures and how to negotiate with platform holders, and a games space striving to reject the existing market system and formulate alternatives. We are increasingly talking past each other, so I think a lot of "indie love" politics is about plastering over these divides and avoiding difficult arguments that we probably can't avoid forever. Films like GameLoading are about doing the work of uniting disparate artistic approaches and communities as a movement, but sometimes it smells more like a possibly empty "Radio for Change" gesture, and I wonder when the coalitions will start dissolving and we all realize we actually don't have much in common. But maybe being a family means pretending everything is going to be ok? Let's do it for the kids.

"Local Level Design" at Different Games 2015, April 3-4 in Brooklyn, New York

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"American Corinthian" via
Paolo Pedercini
In about 3 weeks at Different Games 2015 in Brooklyn, I'll be speaking about "local level design", a practice of level design that I setup in opposition to industrial AAA level design methods and procedural level design. Local level design is level design concerned with player community, sustainability, and context; it rejects a top-down formalism that demands game levels exist as territories with strategic affordances orchestrated by an architect, and it sidesteps a technological imperative to engineer and articulate a fixed grammar that a game engine must understand. Instead, local level design is highly conceptual, to the extent that few people actually play these levels at all.

If you'll be around the New York City area in the beginning of April, come hangout at Different Games, and perhaps see me talk! Or if you can't, but still want to support the conference, then know that they do accept donations.

Details and stuff (but no schedule yet) are at their website. See you there maybe!

#altgames is the no-fault divorce that indie games needs

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I'm cautious. I've been watching #altgames from a distance. Quite a few years ago, Jim Rossignol said I was supposed to be part of an "alt mod" scene, but by then I was tapering off most of my work as a modder so I'm not sure if such a community ever really materialized anyway. I generally don't like labels with "alt" in them since the alt-ernative can be said to be anything, but I do like what TJ Thomas said at Indiecade East, and I like a lot of games that are "altgames", and I think much of my work shares whatever those altgames sensibilities are... so there's probably some kind of consensus, we just have to keep articulating it?

In my GDC 2015 diary, I confessed I felt disconnected from fellow indies who were concerned with running small businesses and contract negotiations. No one wants a civil war over what "indie" really means, or a witch hunt over who is authentically "indie" or whatever. We all have different relationships with games and that's okay as long as you're not promoting hate speech or something. At the same time, it's ridiculous to pretend that I'm not bored out of my mind during countless GDC conversation(s) lingering on advertising revenues and Indie Fund deals and sales figures, and then people get visibly annoyed with me when I don't say anything and check my phone instead. Where is the way out?

This morning, Zoe Quinn's altgames manifesto at Offworld really crystallized this for me:

#altgames can be the no-fault divorce that we need where we don't blame each other, where we even stay friends with contemporary indie games. We can still have dinner parties and share custody of the kids! However, we also have very different goals and concerns, so let's try not being married anymore, and maybe we'll all be happier for it.

FAQ:

"Isn't this just notgames with a different name?" I think notgames paved the way for a lot of this thinking, as did the Scratchware Manifesto, as has the past few thousand years of art. It's turtles all the way down. Altgames is about an "alternative" from contemporary mainstream indie game design practice and markets, and little of that history or infrastructure was there back in 2010. At the very least, we can ground altgames historically.

"This all happened 5 years ago already!" Do you have any idea how long 5 years is? At GDC 2010, Sony announced PS3 Move, Microsoft announced XNA 4.0, Valve decided to support OSX on Steam, and Indie Fund was just formed. That is like A MILLION INDIE YEARS ago. So much has changed since then. Now who's being ahistorical?

"Actually, I said this like __ years ago." Thank you for your service. Now these are different people saying it differently, in a different situation, for a different purpose.

"So uh what exactly are the details / goals of this alternative?" In her essay, Quinn suggests some, but here's some that I particularly care about: (a) de-commercializing your general attitude toward games, (b) seeking alternate ways of paying your rent other than selling games on major platforms, (c) experimenting outside of traditional approaches to game mechanics loops and strategy, (d) championing of the short form and the political and the conceptual, (e) supporting new voices.

"I still like playing / making big games about shooting things, sold on Steam." Then do that! But try to keep your mind open to other games in other places too.

"What if I really like making long games or less political games, etc?" I think that's okay, I think the official Altgames Licensing Council* will still accept your membership application. It's not about meeting a quota. Or, feel free NOT to use the altgames label if you don't feel comfortable about it. No one is demanding that everyone identify under #altgames, right now it's mostly a place to help some people gather and see each other.

"Won't the altgames label just get co-opted and/or become meaningless?"Yeah, probably. That happened to "indie games" and it happened to "alternative music." When that time comes for altgames, we'll all be different people in different places, and the label will have served its purpose. Some people will stay with it, others will leave. Maybe it will come to mean something else? Hopefully it won't be a big deal.

"Labels are divisive. Why can't games just be games?" Because the project of celebrating diversity requires celebrating differences. Also, if games are art, then you should probably read what people have been saying about art for the past few thousand years. Turns out, people often don't agree about stuff!


* does not exist

Lighting theory for 3D games, part 2: a formal approach to light design, and light as depth

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Here's how I generally, theoretically, approach lighting in my games and game worlds. Part 2 is about light and function, mostly for level design.

In part 1, I talked about how different light sources have different connotations to the viewer, and these meanings are culturally constructed. In New York City today, an antique Edison bulb connotes trendy bourgeois expense, but 50 years ago it might've been merely eccentric, and 150 years ago it would've been a thrilling phenomenological novelty.

But people rarely intellectualize lighting this way, in, like, your own bedroom. In your daily middle class Western life you don't usually agonize over the existential quandaries of electricity, you just flip the light switch without looking. When in familiar places, we experience light as a resource or tool and take it for granted. So much of our everyday relationship with light concerns its functionality and what it enables us to do.


Lighting intended for a specific purpose is called task lighting, as opposed to merely cosmetic or decorative lighting. My thinking is that it's NOT about establishing a rigid binary of which lights are what, but rather it's to get you to imagine what particular tasks a particular light lets you do. Many lights can be both functional and decorative -- for instance, a candle flickering on a restaurant table is moodily dim and romantic, but it also helps you discern different tables and see your food.

In games, we are concerned with making the world readable (or selectively unreadable) for the player, to help them navigate and wayfind through a space, as well as discern different game objects. We also want to reassure the player that the world was competently constructed with some sort of intent, and that they aren't wasting their time and/or money.

For now, let's try thinking about light more formally. How does light let us read a game more easily, and what are some common patterns?

from Magnar Jenssen's excellent "Functional Lighting"
In 3D games, light gives us crucial depth cues and allows us to read the surface of an object. Without lighting, every square inch of an object will appear to have the same "value", which flattens the entire shape and emphasizes its silhouette instead of its surface.

Sometimes this flatness is a good thing that can simplify our scenes and make them easier to read, or sometimes we'll want to trick the player, but much of the time this is a distraction that prevents a player from understanding what they are seeing and interacting with your game -- and because we are trying to depict a 3D object on a flat 2D screen, we often need all the depth cues we can get.

Look at the round shapes below, and look at how relying only on silhouettes means they will LIE TO YOU:


(Again, lying to the player or viewer is great if you have a purpose in doing so... but purposeless lying is just some trolling bullshit.)

At "fullbright", or when a game engine renders models unlit at default 100% brightness, it is difficult to tell the difference between the cylinder and the sphere. To help read 3D depth into a 2D image, we need to use texture, fog, similar objects near us and far from us -- we need spatial context.

Light is the main tool for creating this context. With light, we can read the contour and a mesh's surface normals -- the direction(s) that a given 3D surface is pointing, whether it is concave / convex, round or flat, etc.

Reading this surface topology is often very important for playing 3D games. Is this hill too steep to climb, am I supposed to go here? If I throw a grenade, which way will it roll down, and how quickly? How far is it to the top or bottom of the room, can I jump up or fall down safely? A lot of this type of lighting is about signposting for the player to help them understand their surroundings.


The image above is a scene from Residue Processing in Half-Life 1. Note the hanging ceiling spotlights focus on the floor, leaving the wall relatively dim -- this helps emphasize the neon green splashes from the toxic sludge, which is an important hazard throughout this chapter. It also establishes visual hierarchy; the bottom of the room is much more important than the top of the room. (One criticism: the hidden light strips along the ceiling edges are lazy and thoughtless, and don't feel industrial to me. If they wanted to isolate the metal ceiling from the concrete shell, they should've used geometry to do that. And there's already a trim! As it stands, it's just a mostly flat plane separated for no reason.)

On the left, the exit out of this room is lit prominently, so we know where we're going and don't linger for too long. (The NPC also shoots the headcrab monsters and runs out that exit. Valve really wanted you to follow.) The simplest way to light a space is to light every crucial game object / affordance, and make sure the player can see where they want to go. If something isn't important, then don't bother lighting it.

The point of the Residue Processing chapter is low-combat platforming and weapon inventory build-up in an industrial setting that re-uses the silo art assets from Blast Pit -- the point is not to fumble in shadows or to stage elaborate story events where you're locked in a room as NPCs talk. Fittingly, the lighting is very functional and utilitarian, and you don't really stay still for too long.


In this scene from Half-Life 2 (d3_c17_03.bsp), most of the courtyard is in shadow except for a neon teal Combine spotlight, an orange fire giving off lots of smoke, and a friendly NPC shooting at nearby enemies. Gee, Batman, I wonder where we're supposed to go?

Traditional thinking about game lighting is that it is garnish on top of a strong floorplan, but I think lighting is so powerful that it can help compensate for an unclear floorplan too. This is technically just a long room that ends in a blind corner; this is the textbook wayfinding problem that Brendon Chung refers to in his wayfinding talk at GDC 2015. In cases of equal value and flat lighting, as in the fullbright frame above, you won't see anything. But if you put a light around the corner, then we can easily discern the corner. Valve's consistent use of Combine spotlights even lets players estimate how far the blind light source is, based on its intensity and falloff.

The keyword here is "contrast", between shadow and not-shadow, between static lighting and flickering lighting -- between complementary colors blue and orange which are opposite each other on a color wheel and help emphasize each other.

A master class in how NOT to light a game? Note the blorange, note lazy glowy bits everywhere, etc.
Note that these kinds of rules and guidelines can easily be abused, and so they often are. Blue-orange, or "blorange", is a mark of laziness in CG and video games. (Video games tend to avoid red-green contrast for weird Christmas connotations in the West / players with red-green color blindness.)

Similarly, "follow the flickering light" or "follow the perpetually burning trash fires" or "follow the red glowing thing" is barely a step up from "follow this giant glowing arrow" or "follow the word FOLLOW." These are not novel nor compelling ways to explore a world.

Don't get me wrong. I'm a big fan of tackiness and tastelessness.

... Except when I've seen that same kind of tastelessness over and over.

the evolution of video games; from Jack Monahan's "Visual Clarity in Character Design"
These same ideas about lighting spaces also apply to lighting characters and their gameplay affordances. Which way is the NPC looking? Where is its head, so I can headshot it? How can I headshoot it even when we're in the dark? The laziest solution is to make things glow and add lots of color contrast.

Sure, now we'll notice this thing, but at what cost?

When we focus too strongly on the functional aspects of lighting. and apply guidelines blindly, the result is often overly instrumental, emotionally hollow, and basically artless. This is the danger of any rule-making in art -- to assume what worked in what situation will work flawlessly in another situation and produce similar results.


For instance, players don't always flock toward light.

Thief 1, a first person stealth game about hiding in shadows, makes you afraid of light. Here, light makes you vulnerable to being spotted by hostile NPCs -- it doesn't just signify a hazard, it is also a hazard in itself. Every step toward a light source is a risk. Much of the gameplay in Thief consists of huddling in darkness, anxiously watching the well-lit doorway from a safe distance, wondering if there's a way for you to go around and avoid that lit area entirely. In this game, we gravitate toward shadows instead.

It makes sense that lighting in stealth games, or more broadly, games about avoiding direct conflict and confrontation, would operate very differently from games about fighting and gun battles. If you want to design light for function, you should be aware of what that function actually is.

from "Thief 1's Assassins and environmental storytelling."
Also, bad readability isn't always bad.

In the level "Assassins" from Thief 1, Looking Glass Studios used a raised blind corner on purpose to force you to hang back and rely more on the sound of NPC footsteps. The point of this setpiece was to be visually unreadable, and so make you panic about lingering too far behind the NPCs you're supposed to follow. Instead of following a breadcrumb trail of random trash fires, or red cage lights, or (ugh) bl-orange spotlights, we are instead following an invisible mental abstraction and all this fucking light is really unhelpful.

This is one of the most beautiful moments of that level, and it relies on purposeful, nearly transcendent confusion and uncertainty. If games like challenge so much, why not elevate perceptual challenges?

from "Dark Past, part 4: a valence theory of level design"
Before designer Donald Norman co-opted it, the concept of an "affordance" came from ecological psychology, where James Gibson defined it as "what [an environment] offers an animal, either for good or ill." Here, an affordance is a relationship that depends heavily on context, it is not a matter of internalizing supposed universal laws of good design, as several well-meaning but flawed design bibles might have you believe. For more on this ecological psychology approach to design and affordance, especially as it pertains to games, see Jonas Linderoth's 2011 DIGRA paper, "Beyond the digital divide: An ecological approach to gameplay"

Formal approaches to light help us think about the way we use light, but remember that form does NOT follow function. Rather, form follows worldview; much of the orthodoxy around game aesthetics presumes a certain function, certain player, and a certain type of game. That's why part 1 of this series started conceptually -- if you lose sight of what your thing is to different people, then even all the blorange exit spotlights in the world won't save you.

NEXT TIME: part 3, on three-point lighting and why it's kind of useless for 3D games.

Level With Me, vol. 1 re-release (v1.1)

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I have updated my old experimental Portal 2 mod "Level With Me" to work with current versions of Portal 2. This mostly involved repackaging a menu file and rebuilding the sound cache. Assuming you have Portal 2 installed, you can download and play this collaborative interview / playable journalism project at the itch.io page.


  • Remember to feel free to stop playing the first chapter at any time.
  • Previous posts / notes are here.
  • Interview subjects were: Dan Pinchbeck (The Chinese Room), Jack Monahan (Stellar Jockeys), Brendon Chung (Blendo Games), Magnar Jenssen (Avalanche Studios / Valve), Davey Wreden (Galactic Cafe), Ed Key (Twisted Tree Games), Richard Perrin (Locked Door Puzzle)
TECHNICAL SOURCE ENGINE NERD NOTES: It was fun trying to figure out how to update everything; Valve updated every Source game to use .VPK v2, except Portal 2, so it was pretty much impossible to find the old VPK.exe compile utility. Luckily, I had a hunch that Alien Swarm hadn't been updated since forever, and I turned out to be correct. (For anyone who googles for this post, you can grab the one from the Alien Swarm SDK, or download the old v1 VPK.exe here. Make sure you place it in a \bin\ folder with a tier0.dll, and then you can just drag-and-drop folders onto it or a shortcut, etc.)

Implementing real-world real-time stamina / energy cooldown timers in Unity C#

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In Hurt Me Plenty, I implemented "real-world" cooldown timers, which persist even if the player restarts the program. The cooldown period elapses in "real world" time, not in game time.

This resembles stamina delays in many popular free-to-play games, but it also connects with the design tradition of using real world system clocks to dictate game logic -- maybe certain Pokemon emerge at real world night, or you witness events that correspond with real world holidays, or perhaps you can even kill a boss NPC by setting your console's system clock forward by a week.

Much like the implementations referenced above, mine is quite weak and vulnerable to circumvention and cheating: I simply save a system timestamp in the game's PlayerPrefs, and then check that saved timestamp upon loading the game. If the difference between the current system time and the saved timestamp is less than zero, then the time has fully elapsed and the game continues.

WRITING A TIMESTAMP

First, make sure you're importing the System namespace at the top of your script file.

using System;  // import stuff we'll need for generating dates and times

Then you need to generate a DateTime value.

// set a timestamp of current time + 1 minute
var timeWhenCooldownFinishes = System.DateTime.Now.AddMinutes(1);

Then, encode that timestamp into a string, and save that data in PlayerPrefs.

// encode timestamp into binary, then into a string, then save into Unity PlayerPrefs
string dataString = timeWhenCooldownFinishes.ToBinary().ToString();
PlayerPrefs.SetString ( "Cooldown", dataString );
PlayerPrefs.Save ();

READING A TIMESTAMP

To recover a timestamp, load the string from PlayerPrefs and convert into a TimeSpan. Next, you'll want to measure the "time left" between the current system time and the saved timestamp, and then execute certain actions if enough time has elapsed.

// first, make sure such a PlayerPrefs key even exists
if (PlayerPrefs.HasKey ("Cooldown")) {
cooldown = System.Convert.ToInt64(PlayerPrefs.GetString("Cooldown"));
TimeSpan timeLeft = DateTime.FromBinary (cooldown).Subtract (System.DateTime.Now);
Debug.Log("TIME LEFT:" + timeLeft.Seconds.ToString ("D2") + " seconds");
if (timeLeft.TotalSeconds < 0) { // if no time left, then begin the game!
Debug.Log ("cooldown done!");
BeginGame (); // replace this function with whatever, etc.
}
}

TIPS

When you import System, you might get errors about ambiguity between System.Random and UnityEngine.Random... personally, I prefer using UnityEngine.Random, so to fix it I put "using Random = UnityEngine.Random;" at the top. In general, the "using... = ..." syntax is very useful for specifying namespace shortcuts like that.

If you wanted a more secure implementation, you would have to encrypt the timestamp data somehow and/or store it on a server. Personally, I had no need for this -- if Hurt Me Plenty players want to go and literally delete the game's memory of their abuse, that's so fucked up that it's part of the art, and I feel that my point is made. Other games (Pokemon, Animal Crossing, Metal Gear Solid) don't really care if you "time travel" either, and even accommodate or expect that behavior.

***

Even though it is trivially bypassed by users who really want to bypass it, I believe real world cooldowns are extremely useful aesthetic tools to create artistic friction between player and game, to create either tension or release depending on how the delay is framed, as well as the duration of the delay.

Dominant game design paradigms generally privilege immediacy, and any barrier between player and game is supposedly "poor game design." In this case, as with most cases, "poor game design" is a codeword used to denigrate the "casual" play habits facilitated by many free-to-play games, or to support triple-A rhetoric emphasizing 60 frames-per-second immersive fidelity. Games can be about things other than immediacy!

"Refusing to play" is one of the most powerful actions available to players. Why not give machine players that same right?

For more on this design device / a different take, I recommend reading Zoya Street's mini-book "Delay", a history and critical analysis of energy mechanics.

"Stick Shift" as activist autoerotica

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This is a post detailing my process and intent in making Stick Shift. It has SPOILERS; if you care about that kind of thing, then you should probably play the game first.



(Again, SPOILER WARNING is in effect. Last chance!)

Stick Shift is an autoerotic night-driving game about pleasuring your gay car. It is the last of my recent erotic gay sex game trilogy, alongside its sisters Hurt Me Plenty and Succulent. I also feel like it is a fitting book-end to the past two games, incorporating themes and ideas from both.

Over the past two months, the game has changed quite a bit. Originally, I started from Paolo Pedercini's suggestion to riff off Andy Warhol's film Blow Job (1964).


For all 28 minutes of Warhol's film, a guy from chest-up contorts his face while someone supposedly services him below, off-frame. Is he actually being serviced, and do we find out at the end? How long will it take and what will happen? A lot of it is about watching his face and reading emotions.

Facial animation is something that I traditionally de-emphasize in my games, given my limited character art experience, and I usually go as far as cropping out the characters' eyes or facing them away (Hurt Me Plenty) or masking them with sunglasses (Succulent) to try to avoid uncanny valley effects. I could see myself spending days or weeks on trying to get his face to communicate some semblance of human arousal and still failing miserably.

But one of my rules of thumb is that the most obvious implementation is rarely the best one, so I started wondering if there was another way out, if I could avoid this work investment by having something else convey arousal. Maybe a "METAPHOR"?


Or maybe arousal is a metaphor for acceleration, and if that metaphor were driving a car, then I suppose it would have to be a manual transmission vehicle, so that the player can actually register discrete stages of arousal and quantify the "steps." I specifically abstained from having the driver make any grunts or moans -- this is arousal on the car's terms.

Gear sticks have the benefit of being fairly phallic, with a humorously masculine connotation in the US (an exercise for the reader: ask a group of men about manual transmissions, and you'll trigger a mansplanation singularity). I also liked the idea of making a driving game without any steering. Driving is a rich set of activities and habits, and I wanted to foreground less-emphasized aspects instead of the usual tropes.

I grew up in middle class suburban Southern California, where everyone is expected to know how to drive. Given how often you're in a car, you quickly develop certain superstitions about which routes are most efficient at which times, and which freeways in which directions to avoid at rush hour. As Ice Cube says in this fantastic video about Los Angeles, traffic feels different depending on the freeway. What is this feel?


Action films confuse acrobatics for driving. A more mundane but honest fantasy of driving feels more like the opening of the film Drive (2011), when Ryan Gosling's character expertly predicts the rush of traffic from a parking lot -- because dodging traffic without even trying is sexy as hell

The greatest rush in the world is not going faster than everyone else, but rather everyone going slower than you. Acceleration is relative.

Or maybe driving is fundamentally about avoiding other drivers so you can be alone with your car. The average Los Angeles resident probably spends more time with their car than their human family. You're always touching it, fiddling with the mirrors, checking for scratches, wondering whether to bathe it, nibbling it on the neck... There's a certain intimacy there, and that intimacy is what every car commercial tries to evoke. Your first car is like your first kiss.


And at night, driving actually has a chance of fulfilling that car commercial fantasy. Most people are at home or asleep, so there's finally enough room for everyone on the road. It's quieter, smoother. It's easy to imagine how villainous urban planners like Le Corbusier or Robert Moses thought the automobile would be the future of cities. When you drive at night, you're an astronaut gliding through constellations.

In 52% of Stick Shift playthroughs, you will accelerate, you will finish, you will fulfill all your autoerotic fantasies and slumber peacefully while your car cools down, leaking fluid into a wet spot pooling on the asphalt. (Exhaust pipe condensation is totally normal, by the way.) This is where the in-game music track "Crybaby" by Davey and the Chains comes into play -- it has a good rhythm to it, it isn't too synth-y or electro-y, and its lyrics speak about "wanting your love." Obviously, he was talking about jerking-off a car.

But for 48% of playthroughs, the player will be stopped by two heavily-armed police officers. Why 48%?


The point of this is that being stopped or harassed by police isn't really your fault. In fact, it is more or less out of your control, an arbitrary chance operation.

When you drive, it doesn't matter if you were driving completely safely and reasonably within the speed limit, you slow down anyway so you don't "give the cops a reason" -- but deep down you know that a cop doesn't need a reason to stop you and ruin your day. After all, police departments have well-documented "ticket quota" / "minimum performance standards" to meet. When someone actually argues with a traffic ticket and wins, the internet applauds them because we all wish we could do that.

The 48% chance to be interrupted is taken from a 2013 survey (from this March 2015 Williams Institute report) -- "of the LGBT violence survivors who interacted with police, 48% reported that they had experienced police misconduct." Clearly, police abuse and brutality is still a very real issue for many LGBT people, it's just that their basic safety loses political priority when weighed against whether your local neighborhood bigot florist will do your wedding flowers.


As a 20-something gay person living in Brooklyn, I associate Andy Warhol with an ancient era of New York City that nurtured ball culture, Beat poetry, street art, hip hop, Keith Haring, Basquiat... they are all part of this bygone legacy that barely seems real to me, so I can't help but romanticize something like The Stonewall Riots.

The original Stonewall Inn was a shit show, a mafia-owned restaurant turned dive-club with clogged toilets and watered-down drinks, but it was the only slightly safe place for poor homeless queers to hang out in Greenwich Village. The NYPD raided the bar regularly, and most people usually left quietly when they were released; cops reserved arrest for the "most deviant", the drag queens, women wearing "masculine clothing", and any transpeople.

As people tell it, June 28, 1969, was different. Instead of leaving, they stayed on the street and jeered at the police, resisting arrest instead of filing out in an orderly fashion. At some point an officer handcuffed a "dyke-stone butch" and struck her on the head with his baton -- she looked at the crowd and shouted, "why don't you guys do something?"


The crowd lit garbage cans on fire, slashed tires, chased cops down streets, and tried to flip the police wagon. Supposedly there was even a molotov cocktail involved. Two police cars sped off, abandoning the remaining dozen officers, who barricaded themselves inside the bar against hundreds of loud angry queers. The crowd uprooted a parking meter and used it as a battering ram on the door, and the cornered cops inside unholstered their pistols... but when the riot squad arrived, the crowd let the cops escape.

The stereotypical counterculture protest consists of students locking their arms and singing "We Shall Overcome" to a phalanx of helmeted riot police. The Stonewall Rioters were more creative: they sang about their pubic hair and formed chorus kick lines. They mocked the police and denied their authority through flamboyance. They kissed and made-out. Free self-expression was its own protest, and it utterly humiliated the NYPD.

When the cops interrupt play in Stick Shift, the player is afforded a similar opportunity: the player can blow a kiss at the two faceless men armed with riot sticks, grenades, and an M4 rifle.


When you blow a kiss at the cops, it adds another 10 minutes to the "penalty" timer pictured in the middle. My hope is that players quickly embrace this, voluntarily adding more time and locking themselves out of the game longer as a form of protest -- ideally, you force the cops to detain you to absurd extremes. Imagine a gay car and its lover, stopped by cops on the street, unmoving, for days or even weeks.

The use of a cooldown period refers back to my game Hurt Me Plenty (it even uses much of the same code, documented here) but it also invokes Warhol's Blow Job. The idea is to make the duration of the entire act "felt", whether it is cops detaining you for liking dick, or whether it is you and your car in the midst of a blissful post-coital cuddle. Stick Shift aims to visualize sex and sexuality as an ongoing process that occupies durations, not merely as instantaneous events or achievements. It might possibly be the first video game to simulate a refractory period.

Also, I guess the dude in the game kinda looks like the dude in the movie, I guess?

"Stick Shift" technical tricks / backstage Unity peek

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This is a high level discussion of how I achieved certain effects in Stick Shift. It spoils the game, so I recommend you play it and/or read my artist's statement.

The "car" in Stick Shift is actually (a) two different cars, one for each camera, and (b) neither car actually moves, ever.

When you want to create an illusion of motion, or at least have something read as motion, then you generally have two options in games: move the object around the world, or move the world around the object. Because I wanted to focus on the gestures in the drivers seat, it didn't make sense to actually simulate a road. A scrolling panoramic image of a city street, blurred and stretched horizontally, would give enough of an impression of motion.


The real benefit of having two different cars is that I could build, stage, and light them differently according to each camera's needs. In one car, I can pose my dude "Dylan" pretty nicely in the seat. In the other car, though, his arm needed to be able to reach a strangely posed gear shift stick. "Arm-Dylan" is actually posed strangely inside the steering wheel due to the sitting animation. But that's okay, the player never actually sees it so it doesn't matter.

I also hid / deleted any part of the car that the player doesn't see. These are essentially two junker cars floating in space that are bizarro reflections of each other.

To give the impression that they're basically the same car, I tried to synchronize certain events (e.g. the lights and shadows) so the viewer will understand it's the same kind of space. The main weakness in my camera setup is that the through-line / continuity isn't well-established, like I'm technically breaking the 180 degree rule here, kind of. Unfortunately it couldn't be helped with my particular needs, one camera had to point at dude straight-on and the other had to point toward the dashboard and gear stick. I'm pretty sure Warhol didn't care about continuity, anyway.


Unfortunately I had to invest a little in the facial animations for this game. For Succulent, I could get away with some cheekbones and a jaw. In this one, I had to use an actual facial rig capable of communicating basic expressions and reactions. Very few triple-A games would animate a face like this anymore, the results are always exaggerated and silly versus something like blend shapes and facial morphs, introduced and adopted widely starting in 2004 with Half-Life 2. However, I didn't have the time to setup these blendshapes and I had this model with existing face bones, so it had to do.

When animating faces, I usually start with the eyes, the "window to the soul." Note how many bones are clustered around the eyes. Eyes are pretty important and give us lots of cues about emotional states. If you're ever talk with someone and you're barely emoting with your eyes, that might mean you're being kind of creepy / unknowable to your conversation partner. As Tyra Banks says, you need to "smile with your eyes."


Animating the face was slightly easier than animating the goo dripping out of the exhaust pipe for Ending A. I opted to use Unity's built-in animation tool for this because I wanted to animate properties other than mesh properties, but I ended up scaling back my plans when it was taking so long.

The goo is basically two quads that slowly extend and contract across 16 seconds. Once you get past initial interface hurdles, the difficult in animation is in knowing what stuff looks like. It was surprisingly difficult to find reference material of things dripping out of pipes, so I had to settle for watching several videos of people drooling -- surprisingly, there are a lot of drooling videos on YouTube. Who knew?

I still didn't really get the animation right, but it was "good enough" and I moved on.


Oh, and I actually took the time to sit down and model out the exhaust pipe, catalytic converter, and accompanying brace. The pipe and converter are actually two different objects, so I could have them move and rotate and swell at different (but subtle) rates. I hope the car nerds appreciate it.


But probably my favorite effect / most beloved game art trick is the "dissolve" effect on the title screen. By pairing an alphatest shader with a gradient alpha mask, you can adjust the alpha cutoff value to dynamically show or hide pixels. It's the same way you would achieve a "shield dissolve" or tattered effect on something, or in BioShock 2 they used it to have a character slowly write a message on a window. It's very versatile.

Anyway, I hope learning about these techniques was interesting / useful to you. Bye!

FOR MORE INFO AND DOWNLOAD: "Stick Shift"

Embarrassed silence

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I'm stealing the first three paragraphs of Pippin Barr's lovely post: (see also -- Emily Short's take)
A post called Minimum Sustainable Success by Dan Cook has been doing the rounds on Twitter recently and so I read it because people were saying it was good. And it is pretty good, especially if you’re a bit games+money minded – as I am not. It’s a hard look at how you might address and perhaps even mitigate some of the enormous risks and problems involved in getting into the making-a-living end of our beloved videogames.

In there, Dan brings up the “supportive spouse or family” category of game developers and points out that people don’t often “admit” to being in this one, with the idea being that it’s a bit embarrassing, and that it should be talked about more to add perspective to this crazy thing called “how the hell am I supposed to make the games I love and also live at the same time?”

Fortunately I have no shame, and so I’m writing this to represent one data point of the “supportive spouse” crew. Are we legion? I don’t know. I’m definitely one of us, anyway. Hi, here’s my life story (of privilege).
Like Pippin, I have a very supportive and awesome spouse. His name is Eddie.

In addition to currently making more money than I could ever hope to make as a part-time adjunct academic, he is a better Unity programmer than me and taught me a lot of what I know today. He also has really good design instincts; he had the idea to make the cooldown in Hurt Me Plenty go into several weeks, and he also picked-out the music used in Stick Shift. And right now, I'm making him write the server code for my upcoming dick pic game because I don't feel like doing it. (LOL.)

And sure, sharing wage labor and creative labor is really great, but relationships provide something more basic -- like, we share mundane household labor. Eddie cooks most of the time, I cook occasionally and wash dishes. We take turns going grocery shopping. ("Did you buy toilet paper already? Oh, okay, I'll do it on my way back from work.") ("What should we do for dinner? When will you be home?") And even more important than that, we also share emotional labor. We ask each other how our days went, we remember each others responses from days and weeks and months before, we help each other interpret how our lives are going and reassure each other that Things Will Be Okay.

All of this probably sounds really obvious to you, which is why I never felt like I had to say it. I always thought of it as, "no one really cares about my personal life" or "my relationship deserves privacy" or "married people are boring" or "it's boring to brag about how my relationships support me, and it's annoying / useless when the takeaway is essentially 'fall in love and be lucky' so why bother writing this post."

So when Dan Cook characterizes silence as "embarrassed silence" in his post, that just sounds emotionally tone-deaf to me, and speaks to a larger problem I've experienced in the games community.

Once everyone got on-board with "anyone can make video games", then the weird leap in logic was, "who wouldn't want to make video games," and worse, "who wouldn't want to solely live off their video games?"

... And the answer is that 99.9% of the world has no interest in becoming a game developer, and they'll pay rent some other way, and live perfectly meaningful lives. This is difficult to reconcile with gamer exceptionalism and "video games are the new dominant medium of the 21st century" rhetoric. If my life is dedicated to video games, and video games don't really matter that much, then does that mean my life's work doesn't really matter? (And will my games friends still like me?)

Like a few years ago, I was arguing with my mom. As she nears retirement, I thought she should take up some kind of creative hobby or write or something -- and it took an hour for her to drill into my brain that the meaning in her life came from her family and home, and she didn't care about her "professional output", and she liked having a job she wasn't in love with. As someone who prides himself on his creative and scholarly production, this mindset made absolutely no sense to me. But if I can't understand my mom, at least I can give her personhood and dignity and respect, and see her as a role model in countless other ways?

So that's what my experience of "embarrassed silence" is more about -- how was I so narrow-minded, to impose this idea of "success" on myself and everyone around me?

Then once I realized this, I wondered if I should say anything, or remain silent. Even now, I imagine people will read this post and interpret it as a pretentious attack on their commercial indie dev practice where I'm encouraging people to "give up on their dream" or to talk shit about indie sell-outs. Personally, I think even that (inaccurate, mis-read) conclusion is better and more useful than Dan's conclusion:
Perhaps the longer term solution is to run your games as a service. Try to create a product that produces reliable cash flows. This likely require a certain level of business thinking. You are making a financial machine that lasts instead of a Hail Mary piece of art that vanishes.
It took me a while to decide that I had no interest in running a business, and that it was okay to not want to run a business, and that I could live a different life than my peers while still counting them as my peers. It is absurd that it took me a while to realize that, and what stopped me from doing so was the assumptions exemplified in Dan's post, that this is naturally what everyone would strive to do. It took me so long to realize that those assumptions didn't apply to me. (My lack of self-awareness is not Dan's fault. But it's certainly a symptom of the dominance of indie biz culture.)

If you're living off your games and you enjoy the work, that's great and good job. I guess my conclusion is more for indie devs who are not "minimally sustainably successful" and wondering whether it's due to some deep spiritual weakness or "not wanting it enough" or whatever:

Dream more than one dream.

"Succulent" technical overview / behind the scenes

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This is a high level discussion of how I achieved certain effects in Succulent using Unity. It spoils the game, so I recommend you play it and/or read my artist's statement.

To the game engine, the popsicle (or "ice lolly" or corn dog) in Succulent is the main director for the entire scene. It is essentially a psychic telekinetic popsicle that dictates music playback, effects, and character animations... The popsicle is god. Love the popsicle.

To many developers, the most obvious straightforward way to achieve this popsicle-sucking interaction would've been to create a hand / arm controller, and then parent the popsicle to the dude's hand. But this "direct" way would've been the wrong way; this game is about popsicles, not about hands. Tuning the hand and arm movements necessary to pilot it into his mouth -- it would've been painful and unnecessary. (This is why it's important to have a fairly solid concept before you start coding something. The concept and design will affect how you code it!)


So I do it the "reverse" way: the popsicle is actually floating and rotating of its own accord, but it tells the hand to keep trying to grasp it. The hand and arm are totally cosmetic. Because this is kind of the reverse way of how we conceptualize motion, this type of animation technique is called "inverse kinematics." Instead of manually moving the arm, we tell the arm to "solve" for a "target" position, and it resolves the most "natural" pose based on joint hinge constraints.

If you're a Unity developer working with humanoid characters, make ample use of SetLookAtPosition and SetIKPosition (my code is based off the code sample on that page) and you can just move and rotate a target transform to pose your head / hands / feet, adjust these transforms while in play mode so you can get a sense of how the IK is solving, then copy and paste the transform data outside of play mode to commit your changes. You could technically animate an entire body like this. Very convenient.


I generally prefer using IK vs. canned Maya animations. IK lets me iterate pretty quickly with different poses, and then I can use code to make the IK responsive to game state changes. To do this without IK, you'd have to setup a Mecanim Animation Controller state machine and deal with a mess of variables and blend trees, it's kind of annoying and overkill for most of my uses.

This is a key benefit of being a generalist developer -- you can pick your implementations based on what you want to do. Being able to choose from a physics-based ragdoll animation, an old-fashioned hard-coded bone transform script, a Mecanim-based IK controller, or plain Maya keyframed animation, is really helpful. It's even better when you mix all those approaches together, capitalizing on the individual strengths of each approach.


For instance, the jaw control and "cheek physics" code is just some simple transform stuff. Based on the popsicle's rotation and position, I move the bone's localPosition. When tuned properly, it looks like the popsicle is causing his cheeks to bulge out.

Also notice the dude does not actually have teeth, partly because (a) you never really see the teeth in-game and (b) I was too lazy to model them, but also because (c)... teeth hurt.

Lighting theory for 3D games, part 3: the heresy of three-point lighting

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This is part of a series on how I approach game lighting. Part 1 was about light fixtures, and part 2 is about light as a formal material.

In part one, we began by thinking about light culturally -- light has meant different things to different people across history, and you must consider that meaning when lighting your spaces. But in part two, we observed that much of our everyday relationship to light is more immediate and less intellectualized, that we often use light to help us do things. Theoretical frameworks about light help us articulate what we think the light is doing.

One of the most common theoretical frameworks for lighting is the three-point lighting system, used mainly in photography and film. As I argued in part 2, one of light's most important jobs is to allow you to read the surface or topology of an object. The three point system helps us formalize light source in terms of how to "read" an object. (I also argue that it has some serious weaknesses for 3D video games, but we'll get to that in a minute.)

It's called "three point" because there's at least three light sources involved:

The key light (B) is your primary light source that lights most of the object, the fill light (C) helps brighten up the dark parts so we can read the surface better, and the back light (D) is more like a rim light to accent the back edge of the silhouette and distinguish it from the background.

It's a very standard kind of setup. You should only do this when this is the mood you want -- that is, if you want something that looks "safe" and "high production" as if it were shot in a studio or film set, then use three-point lighting.

But if you want something to feel a bit more scary or sinister, you could borrow the techniques of countless campfire horror stories and point a hard keylight upward, as if illuminated solely by the infernal glow of hell. Or if you want something to feel more mysterious, strengthen the back light to illuminate the back of someone's head but dim the key and fill.

Left: sinister uplights. Right: mysterious side light, little or no key light.
These make for nice screenshots.

... this is also where a lot of 3D game artists and game designers suffer from bad phenomenology. They think their goal is to achieve great screenshots, and in film / photography / theater / 2D games that is an admirable goal. But as people working in 3D games, our actual goal is to craft some sort of navigable 3D space, experience, or system, and our lighting needs to be part of that context.

A screenshot is not a 3D space, which means a lot of this three-point methodology falls apart once you add any kind of interactivity or camera movement to it.

Say I'm lighting something without a strong key light... but what if I walk around and look at the object from the other side? Suddenly, the back light is now a key light, and the effect is totally different. Is this still mysterious, and if so, is it the same kind of mystery? What are we actually telling the player to look at, here?

Depending on your perspective, a back light can become a key light, and vice versa.
To me, this is biggest weakness of using three-point lighting in 3D games -- key / fill / back lights are relative to the viewer's perspective, but most 3D games involve a freely moving and rotating camera perspective. I argue a virtual place is understood best as a constructed space, not as a series of still screenshots. De_dust is not a series of camera angles, it is a continuous geography with an infinite number of camera angles. Three-point lighting was intended for situations where perspective was controlled, and a 3D video game is not one of those situations.

... Unless we control the player's perspective anyway. Or if we can't control perspective, at least we can strongly influence the player's reading of a space and imply a specific vantage point. Then the player will do what we want them to do. Or at least understand what we were trying to do.

For instance, what if the space had specific "frames"? What if we placed a chair at a window, or required the player to enter through a doorway?


If there's a chair, we're signalling to the player that they should consider where the chair was facing. If there's a door, we know with certainty the player will have to enter the room through that doorway. Trust your player to understand the framing and vantage point we're implying. Chair placement is a "passive" type of frame, while a doorway is more "active", and both rely on already establishing the floorplan and interaction methods before committing to lighting.

Maybe that means we should usually do lighting design later in the development process, once we know the basic shape of a world and what we do in it. This begs the question -- what is a typical workflow for doing lighting design? How do we do it?

We've been treating lighting design as a thing you study or conceptualize. However, good lighting designers know that they have to test their setups, consider maintenance regimes (an unfixable fixture is a poorly designed fixture), and actually measure light levels with specialized devices (the industry uses candelas / lumens to quantify light) because the most important part of design is in the implementation. They visualize the distribution of light levels using photometric diagrams like this:


The only way to know if a key light is actually performing as a key light is to watch someone walk through your space. Lighting design cannot happen in a vacuum, disconnected from the world. You should light a game according to the context, according to what the game is about, and what is happening in the game, and whether the game engine permits you to do it in the way you want to do it.

To know if we're achieving our objectives with lighting, or whether our design is even feasible, we have to TEST THE IMPLEMENTATION. Until we do that, the design isn't done.

So then, um, how do we do game lighting, exactly?...

NEXT TIME: part 4, how 3D engines think about lighting

Pardon the interruption

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Haven't had time to write lately -- it's finals week here in New York City, so it's been pretty busy with grading and making sure students turn things in. If you happen to be in the area this month though, I encourage you to check out the student shows at two of the departments where I teach:
  • Parsons School for Design MFADT Show Reception. Monday, May 18 at 6 pm. 6 East 16th St, 12th Floor, around Union Square. Wide variety of technological / conceptual / commercial projects, from experimental VR installations to new apps to future fashion to performance.
  • NYU Game Center Student Show. Thursday, May 21 at 6 PM. 2 Metrotech Center, 8th Floor, around Downtown Brooklyn. All kinds of board games / physical games / digital games, mostly by the MFA students, but with a few undergraduate projects on display too.
See you around maybe.

Cobra Club as ouroboros

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This is a post detailing my process and intent in making Cobra Club. It has SPOILERS; if you care about that kind of thing, then you should probably play the game first.



(Again, SPOILER WARNING is in effect. Last chance!...)

Cobra Club is a photo studio game about taking dick pics. Ideally, lots of them. As you take dick pics, you also chat with NPCs and potentially share / swap dick pics. It breaks with my previous three gay sex games (Hurt Me Plenty, Succulent, Stick Shift) in that there's little control of the character himself, there's a complex interface, and there is no visual innuendo. In this game, a dick is a dick.

But it's not just a dick, it's your dick!... Well, kind of. To me, that ambiguity is what elevates it slightly above a mere dick pic generator.



A lot of the initial thinking behind Cobra Club came from the notorious Last Week Tonight with John Oliver interview with Edward Snowden, where he frames government mass surveillance (specifically, NSA surveillance and the Patriot Act) in terms of dick pics.

My initial idea was a dick pic generator, to allow people to flood the internet with more dick pics, as a form of protest. Initial prototypes let users anonymously upload images to Imgur directly from the game, thus contributing to the total proportion of internet data that consists of dick pics. For freedom, or something! This (cw: nudity) initial "DickPics4Freedom" prototype wasn't too interesting because conceptually, it's funny only because it's non sequitur, and it says nothing else. What is this freedom? What do dick pics actually say about freedom? As images, how do these fit into an artistic tradition of self-portraiture, much less a tradition of dick pics?

Turns out, some redditors got the same idea independently, which is probably a testament to how obvious and boring the idea was. If you look at the (cw: nudity) r/DickPics4Freedom subreddit, I'd say 95% of them are bad dick pics, endless columns of basic cocks cycling through the same poses and same fluorescent lighting.


Gay dudes have been trading dick pics online for centuries. In gay dating networks, your body pic / dick pic is a promise as to how great the sex is going to be, while your face pic is where you show how attractive and normal and safe you are. (Given the history of gay men being targeted for attacks via gay apps, safety is always a concern.) There's an implicit private life / public life divide.

Purpose-built gay male dating sites like Adam4Adam let you "lock" certain photos from most users unless you specifically unlock it for them. So the typical use-case is to chat someone up, and then unlock your dick pic for someone to show them that you mean business... except some users are closeted or "DL" (down-low), so instead of locking their dick pic, these guys are locking their face pic. Yes, their dick is more public than their face.

This is why Cobra Club pixelates / obfuscates the dude's face, to represent this muddy relationship to identity and context. A lot of dick pics are used to project power and harass people. A lot of dick pics are also about exposure, shame, or fear. Robert Frost might ask us to ponder the dick pic not taken. In this way, perhaps dick pics are about the vulnerability of possibility.


As I see it, there are three play strategies in Cobra Club: (1) make a really weird "funny" dick, (2) make a "good" dick pic, (3) recreate your "actual" dick (if you have one) as faithfully as possible. People who play in public will likely go for option 1 to diffuse awkwardness, but without an audience that'll probably get kind of boring. Even option 2 is surprisingly intimate, it forces you to visualize and articulate what your "ideal" dick looks like, to expose your supposed fantasy.

This is basically how I feel in nearly every game with a character creator, where often the closest racial analogue to asian people is elves or some shit. If these games are power fantasies, am I going to fantasize about being white? Should my players fantasize about having huge logs?

Interfaces have default settings, and default settings imply ideals. This is a heavy concern with "character creators" in most video games; who are the default Commander Shepards or default Bloodborne hunters of the world? (The answer is left as an exercise for the reader.) But the most epic trainwrecks in interfaces and representation are outside of games, like Apple's emoji specification, or the poor East Asian language support in Unicode. Those debacles are about defaults and limitations built into specifications by some very human designers.


My dick creator is no different, it is an interface with politics, and I've tried to address that. The skin color palette order is randomized every playthrough, and every player's starting skin color and default dick specs are randomized at initialization, and first-time players will have to wait a few minutes to learn how to unlock advanced dick controls.

This is vaguely similar to Facepunch Studios' multiplayer open world game Rust, which assigns players an unchangeable skin color, but that still doesn't seem quite right to me. That implementation treats race as some sort of immutable trait or fact, when ideas of whiteness / blackness / bodies are artificial constructs subject to societal norms (etc.)... that said, race isn't exactly interchangeable like color swatches, right? These are all fantasies about how race works, or how penises work.

My implementation is definitely not correct because it wants to be read as part of the "character creator" game engine tradition, which interprets race as data instead of a process. I try to "compromise" with a little bit of semi-permanence at the beginning, but ultimately I pull-back and try to expose as many variables as possible. I even have a "disable hernia protection" setting that causes your dick to spin erratically and contort as if attached to a jet engine. Let this fake body be fake!

Hopefully that digital weirdness helps to establish a sort of "safer space" to explore dick pics. Critique My Dick Pic, run by Madeleine Holden, has a clear trans-inclusive, race-inclusive, no-shaming policy to try to facilitate a safer space as well. Her critiques are often funny and disarming in how formally they treat dick pics, but they always seem honest and earnest.

In her dick pic reviews, she makes a case for a certain progressive feminist dick pic aesthetic: one that values the whole of a body, the posture, the hand placement, the lighting, the background. She has a particular distaste for gag dick pics, characterizing them as lazy, and she harshly grades "log" pics that prioritize size above all. While embracing these dick pics as art, she also maintains the importance of confidentiality and acknowledges the importance of honoring privacy.

Cobra Club attempts to support these progressive dick pic aesthetics while also performing their violation by state-operated mass surveillance apparatuses.

Dicks pics are often composed in bathrooms because bathrooms afford two important things: a mirror, and guaranteed privacy. In Cobra Club, I attack this privacy in two ways:

First, every 5 minutes or so, your mother will knock on the door and ask if you're doing okay. (The mom is performed by the amazing Nico Deyo. Thanks, Nico!) The fiction is that you're doing this in your mother's bathroom, with some "God Bless Our Home" needlepoint decorating the back wall. (I think it's kind of funny.) The Mom AI will leave you alone after about 20-25 minutes, but not after she hints that she knows what you're doing in there, because, well, a mother always knows.

Second: as the player takes more dick pics, and time elapses, the game secretly sends your dick pics to a server which posts it to a public tumblr. (This server acts as a "middleman" proxy to anonymize your image uploads, and keeps no logs of its own.)

After about 15-25 minutes, the player will be bombarded with messages about a government spy database "COBRACLUBB". Tumblr posts contain a dick pic, a partial chat transcript, and a hashtag of a username to show them all their logged posts. (For this reason, the game prevents users from typing in their own username, possibly sending identifying information to the tumblr. Players may only use generated usernames, for their own protection.)


The argument here is that the privacy and respect promised by Critique My Dick Pic cannot co-exist with the danger highlighted by Can They See My Dick, while the pure instrumentality of DickPics4Freedom seems really bland and ahistorical without the progressive approaches to sexuality of the last few decades.

This is the main symbolism behind using an ouroboros for the Cobra Club logo, besides amusing implications of auto-fellatio. These loops and cycles of oppression connect all of us.

At the end of the game, the player is banned on vague and arbitrary grounds because the player legally consented to it by agreeing to the EULA at the beginning of the game. To play again, the player must clear all their account data and create a new account... and so the cycle continues.

Local level design, and a history / future of level design

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Right-side modified from “Unscaping the Goat” (Ed Byrne, Level Design in a Day @ GDC 2011)
This is adapted from my GDC 2015 talk "Level Design Histories and Futures" and resembles a similar but much shorter talk I gave at Different Games 2015. By "level" it means "level in a 3D character-based game", which is what the industry means by the word.

The "level designer" is a AAA game industry invention, an artificial separation between "form" (game design) and "content" (level design). The idea is that your game is so big, and has so much stuff, that you need a dedicated person to think about the "content" like that, and pump it all out. This made level designers upset, since they were a chokepoint in the game production process and everyone blamed them if the game was shit. To try to bypass this scapegoating, level design has changed over the past decade or two, from something vague / loosely defined, to something fairly specific / hyperspecialized.

What is the shape of this level design, what did it used to be, and what else could it be in the future?

But first, let's talk about chairs.

What is a chair? What is the most "chairful" chair, the chair that exemplifies the pure essence of chair-ness?

The ancient Greek philosopher Plato argued that the most chairful chair did not exist in real life -- and only philosophers, through disinterested intellectual contemplation, could understand the true essence of a chair.

This is the idea of "Platonic forms", that specific concrete chairs are less relevant than the universal structure and patterns inherent among all chairs. Level design and architecture make similar claims about "universal structures"...


Ancient Greek architecture was fascinated with forms. Buildings were made of clearly articulated walls, floors, pillars -- and each part of a building was to conform to a specific set of proportions in order to be most beautiful. How many different types of buildings are there? (The correct answer is three.)

Early modernist architecture echoes this formalism, where the phrase "form follows function" comes from. Form is considered to be the sum of a building's core structural elements, and so buildings should match this ideal form as much as possible.


Some Western modernist architects even thought they could design a universal form devoid of politics, an "International Style" of building that would transcend the violent nationalism of the 20th century. Sounds like a nice idea, right?

Here, architects were assuming the underlying "Platonic form" of all societies was architecture, which meant architects were philosopher-kings whose duty was to "go back into the cave" and help others. Much of "level design" today inherits these high modernist ideas, both in politics and practice.


To address practice, we must address tools. The first level editors for 3D games like Wolfenstein3D and Doom 1 were actually 2D top-down grid views, inspired mostly by actual architectural industry drafting tools like AutoCAD. The next generation of editors for "true 3D" games like Quake, Unreal, and Half-Life were inspired more by 3D modeling tools and 4-split pane interfaces. Here, level design was largely a matter of construction and opportunity for details.


Today, most 3D games use one large 3D view and modular construction, where a level designer's task is more to assemble pre-fabricated modules already made by environment artists. Some AAA studios maintain strict divides between level design and environment art, and I think this division is on the rise as demands for higher fidelity increase, as more Western studios outsource environment art asset production while keeping design in-house. It makes sense to do it like this when your boss tells you to build a giant city full of thousands of things within a year.


This shift in workflow is about taking the construction out of level design. Level designers used to be artists, sculptors, modelers, and carpenters -- but today, the game industry has decided that a level designer is mostly an architect who draws a blueprint and manages labor.

Most industrial level designers might start with a design document or general concept pitch. Once approved, they would begin sketching a floorplan and paper prototyping some shapes. After another round of approvals, they make a greybox or simple 3D block-out (or hand it off to a "level builder") and do some playtesting in the graybox, then hand it off to the environment art team for an art pass. (see below)

from "Gallente Research Facility", Dust 514, CCP Games

The idea here is that these gray boxes ARE the soul of the level, and art assets and detail are just "ornament" -- and according to the high modernist architects of the early 20th century, ornament is not "real" architecture. This is VERY different from ideas of early level design; check out this 2001 level designer job posting from a little company called Crytek, where they want you to have "art skills" and 3D modeling experience. So in between then and now, the level design field embraced high modernism, and they started pumping stuff out that looked like high modernism. (Note that this is just AAA level design; AAA games as a whole are totally addicted to ornament and excessive detail.)

The problem with embracing this brand of modernism as a central creative driving force is that it essentially died, like, 50 years ago. Today, if you're called a "formalist" in art or architecture, it is probably intended as an insult. We can trace its death back to the idea of Platonic forms -- remember that question, what is the most chairful, chair-iest chair?


Postmodernism was about this realization that, wait, ANYTHING can be a chair, it depends on how you use it? What if you're a farmer who was denied permission to build a horse shelter, so you build some 20 foot tall chairs -- these chairs clearly aren't chairs, and yet they are. Or what about professional wrestlers who "give 'em the chair"? It is important that is a chair because it isn't functioning as a chair.

If a building cannot dictate how it is used or interpreted by its people, then how can architecture know what's best for everyone?


By the way, who was "everyone"?

Take Frank Lloyd Wright's famous "Fallingwater" -- who owns Fallingwater, who can afford to go there, who can get car insurance and a credit card to rent a car to go drive there? Most of the well-preserved architectural landmarks, ancient or modern, were made for governments, religious institutions, large militaries, or maybe just plain ol' rich people. Le Corbusier wanted to bulldoze the middle of Paris and replace it with condos, and Robert Moses wanted to bulldoze Greenwich Village and replace it with a highway.

Who exactly benefits from this supposedly apolitical, ideal universal form of society?


Architecture has politics embedded in the form, as well as politics completely outside of the form.

For instance, the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington DC is one of the most acclaimed pieces of memorial architecture -- and it was designed by Maya Lin, then a young architecture student. Her proposal was two dark metallic marble cuts into the ground, with the name of every US military casualty etched into its surface. It is a scar in the landscape that tries to give every death some space and room for reflection. If you see any memorial architecture with multitudes of names etched into it, it's because Maya Lin changed the field.

Her proposal was part of a blind competition. When US senator and local racist Ross Perot found out the winning architect was a young Asian woman, he called her an "eggroll." He and senator Jim Webb withdrew their approval, and Ronald Reagan's secretary of interior James Watt threatened to revoke the building permit. To review: the building itself was great... until they found out an Asian woman designed it, and then all bets were off because it was "disrespectful to the boys who died in Vietnam"... but even if you follow that terrible logic, Maya Lin is Chinese and she was BORN. IN. OHIO.


This is pretty much a clear-cut example of institutional racism and sexism. That's why orthodox modernism had to die, because even old white male racists have to admit that "what a building is" often has nothing to do with its form.

Postmodern architecture and subsequent movements are about how a home is so much more than just a "machine for living", and emphasizes how decoration is important for people and communities. Lack of decoration is a style of decoration in itself. There is no such thing as "pure form."

Here, the governing mantra is less "form follows function", and more like "form follows worldview." When we build for people instead of market demographics, our work can become part of a community and it can endure -- this is a core tenet of sustainable architecture, to actually study and collaborate with neighborhoods and governments.


Inner City Arts in Los Angeles provides an under-served neighborhood with arts programs and a civic center. It was painted white, to emphasize how they would maintain this infrastructure, and they kept the garage door aesthetic to callback to the location's history as a set of re-purposed industrial garages.

Here, the main formalism was about the different milestones in the art center's construction, and how they "released" this center in "early access" as stages, so they could be useful to the community as soon as possible. Architecture is an on-going dialogue with stakeholders that affects the development process over time.



Because Team Fortress 2 used its achievement system to gate item unlocks, the player community quickly established achievement grinding servers so players could acquire items more quickly. In response, achievement_all_v4 is an "achievement trap" map where everything seems normal for a few minutes, and then a giant cat rises out of the ground and starts killing everyone with laser beams and cannons. At the end, the entire server is nuked as punishment.

Note that the "achievement grinding map" is itself a form of local level design, a genre devised by players -- and so is the achievement trap genre as well. This level design functions as a complex rhetoric, an effective moral commentary on a community response to a developer's game update.


For the Quinta Monroy housing development, the government hired a firm to renovate a neighborhood populated mainly by squatters. This could've been another housing project, but the firm actually did workshops with residents to listen to their needs and imagine what the houses would look like. They turned their limited budget into a design strength: rather than build an entire residence at a low and cheap standard, they chose to collaborate with the residents' ability to adapt housing – instead, they only built half of a house, but it's an entry-level middle class half of a house that would've been difficult for the residents to build themselves.

The residents at Quinta Monroy can then finish the house themselves and make it their own, sharing control over the appearance and structure of their neighborhoods with the architects. What if we left our own games and levels purposely half-finished, as a gesture of outreach and respect for players?



The Gary Hudston Project is a Portal 2 puzzle map that ends with a marriage proposal, intended for one specific player in the entire world, commissioned for a specific time and place. It reminds me of one of my level design students who wants to make a map based on his family's home before they move away -- what if we made small levels or games as gifts, as tokens, as mementos?

Notice that typical game design questions don't really apply here. No one cares if the puzzles were good or if the textures were aligned. What matters is whether the proposer spent months making it or commissioned it, or whether the player said "Yes" at the end; what matters is the process and the response, not necessarily the product nor its specific form.


Industrial level design views every design problem as a problem of production time, dependent on the ability to scope and plan and manage human labor.

In contrast, local level design views every design problem as a problem of dialog and methodology, it is a "compassionate formalism" that tries to collaborate on conceptual frameworks rather than imposing them. I hope these already existing examples of locally-oriented practice across architecture and level design demonstrate that it is something possible, important, and real.


And that is why "chairs can't just be chairs."


Pain Festival

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As a palette cleanser from the last four sex games, I've been remaking my favorite of Alan Hazelden's Puzzlescript suite, "Mirror Isles", with my own art and narrative. It's been refreshing to have the design of something already figured out, and for the past two weeks I've just been pumping out art and code.

The game has come together surprisingly quick. I'm not sure if it's commercial or anything yet, I guess me and Alan will have to talk about that at some point, but for now I'm enjoying this as a craft exercise void of any marketing concerns.




Tentatively, it's called "Pain Festival", and it's about a late 20-something black woman whose life is kinda falling apart in the way that "millennial" lives have been collapsing, but she's going to figure out how to pull through it and be more than her pain.

The script is mostly done and implemented, and incorporates an interesting story note from Alan for Mirror Isles that never actually got used, so it's kind of fun to flesh out that aspect more. I'm currently contemplating whether it should have full voice-acting or not... I think I'm probably going to do it. Somebody stop me, please...



I got a lot of feedback, mostly from men, about why Hurt Me Plenty doesn't let them spank women. My response is usually something like, "there are already hundreds of games that let you inflict pain on women." At the same time, I'm seeing a lot of my women friends suffering in games, wondering if their careers will be defined by their ability to suffer. So this is me trying to make a game about women and pain, except not for the sexual appetites of straight men. I hope it speaks at least a little bit to women, or at least lets them know that I've been listening.

Puzzle games usually treat narrative in a pretty instrumental way, which is maybe one of the nicer things about them -- no bullshit lore databases, no heavy exposition, just some fucking puzzles. At one point, Mirror Isles says something like, "oh hey this game element is different now, oh well", and there's a sort of humanity to that.

I want to try to meld that relative sparseness with the sensibilities of the personal Twine genre. Personal stakes, nothing about saving the world except your own world.

On the other end of the spectrum, you have the Braids and Talos Principles of the world, trying to argue their crate-pushing interactions are deep introspective ruminations of pure philosophy, which mostly just makes me cringe. As far as I'm concerned, those games have less story than Mirror Isles.



It's also been fun to try to do technical things I don't normally do -- working with a tile system, or programming a MVC-ish game state manager for undo support, or handpainting some character dialog portraits.

It also has a mom in it. I think putting more moms in games is a small but radical way of combating militant masculinity in games. You thought gaming was your paradise, your gamer solitude where you can wallow in your complacency? Wrong. Your mom is going to invade your video games -- suddenly the fog wall will materialize, the red phantom will step out and point her sword at you -- and tell you she loves you and you should call her more often, and would it kill you to change your sheets every now and then? Then she'll stab you in the face and absorb your souls. #Momification #MomGames

Queerness and Games Conference 2015, call for proposals, due by July 1

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The good folks at QGCon at UC Berkeley need YOUR session proposals for their third year running. I participated in the first year it ran, 2013, and I enjoyed the mix of scholarly rigor and casual atmosphere, there a pleasant mix of academics and not-academics that's very refreshing.

You can be a super academic-y academic and present a paper, or you can talk about a game you made, or discuss a specific games community you're part of, or even relate your personal experience with games and/or run a workshop. They're pretty accommodating and welcoming and supportive, even if you've never given a talk before. It's also pretty unique, there's really no other conference on the circuit that even tries to approach these topics.

I highly recommend submitting a proposal by July 1st, especially if you live around the Bay Area or along the west coast, it's just a short trip over.

Here's an excerpt of the call:
The Queerness and Games Conference
October 16-18, 2015, UC Berkeley

The Queerness and Games Conference is an annual, community-oriented, nationally-recognized event dedicated to exploring the intersection of LGBTQ issues and video games.Accessibility, inclusion, and creativity are key values of QGCon. We seek to foster dialogue between scholars, game developers, and game players. That makes QGCon different from many other conferences, and it means the audiences for your presentations will be diverse. We encourage you to envision talks that are welcoming and engaging for attendees of all backgrounds. To get a sense for the tone of QGCon talks, feel free to check out the recordings of the 2014 and 2013 sessions. Proposals that incorporate opportunities for interaction and/or play are especially appreciated.

QGCon embraces an intersectional approach to queerness. We welcome submissions that address topics of gender, race, ability, body type, and class. This work reminds us that the struggles (and victories) of those of us who play from the margins are interconnected struggles.

What type of talk can I propose?
– Sessions types include presentations, panels, micro talks, workshops, roundtables, and performances
– You may propose to present solo, in pairs, or in small groups
– Let us know how much time you would like for your presentation. Solo talks normally run between 20 and 60 minutes, while workshops and performances sometimes need more time.

Videogames for Humans, edited by Merritt Kopas

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The first reaction most people had was, "it's bigger than I expected." 575 pages to be exact. But that obfuscates the actual format of Videogames for Humans: 27 different close readings / commentaries on short stories.

What those most people actually meant was that they had no idea that 575 pages of thought on Twine was possible, that they're surprised Twine is this big or that it is worth preserving on a tree carcass.

Preserving! In order to preserve something, it has to be more or less "over", and Merritt Kopas has a lot of feelings and anxiety about how Twine will be remembered. In the introduction, she confesses, "late 2012 and early 2013 was an extraordinarily exciting period for me [...] the 'queer games scene' covered by videogame outlets might not have been as cohesive as some accounts supposed, but for a little under a year, it definitely felt real,"

... then later she argues, "but I don't want Videogames for Humans to be seen as the capstone of the 'Twine revolution,' a kind of historical record of some interesting work done in the early 2010s."

So then, this book is partly an attempt to correct or amend a prior history... but not with more history. It wants to break a cycle.

This book is a collection of annotated transcripts from Twine playthroughs, one of the few video game engines that adapts well to printed text... provided that you're pretty familiar with Twines already. This is where the lack of history hurts this book, in a certain sense -- there's no explained context for all this (strong) work.

When I'm reading Lana Polansky's commentary on Nina Freeman's "Mangia" and Polansky exclaims, "Holy shit, am I actually dating Emmett?" -- I laugh because I know who Nina and Emmett are, and I can even imagine Emmett's reaction to a literary debate about whether he's a good boyfriend. It provokes questions about how we can study such "personal games" if they rely on notions of personalities, even though so many personalities are routinely exhausted by a public that feels entitled to access to them. How do you preserve a personality, or would you even want to? How do you set boundaries when your life is part of the art? (Basically: GG has seriously harmed the exploration of craft and new genres in video games.)

Or when Cat Fitzpatrick plays Anna Anthropy's "And The Robot Horse You Rode In On" (merely one of TWO lesbian westerns featured in this book!) and Fitzpatrick does not know, or does not care, that this is probably a remake of Andrew Plotkin's "Spider and Web" except with sexy lady fighting instead of overly intricate Cold War futurism. With that background, you can read Anthropy's changes and simplifications to the original plot device as an admonishment of the hardline parser-based interactive fiction establishment and their historic ambivalence about accepting Twine as interactive fiction. It's as if she's saying, "look, Twine can do what the canon parser IF does, and with less bullshit and more style."

This is context, and it will be forgotten.

Perhaps the most crucial super subtext that will be lost on many readers is Merritt's introduction and allusion to a queer games scene. First year doe-eyed gender studies students will be assigned this book and perhaps a link to a Polygon "queer games scene" article which leads with a photo that hilariously crops me out of the 4 person panel at Different Games 2013. (I was sitting to the right of Anna, but I guess I didn't look queer enough!) They'll have no idea that many of the people in that article mocked the idea of a "queer games scene", and this is part of the subtext that Merritt is talking about and why she cordons off the term in scare quotes.

No one will remember any of this.

Ultimately, maybe that's why this book is called "Videogames for Humans." It's for humans.

Polansky relating to in-game boyfriend troubles, or Fitzpatrick admiring literary craft, or Imogen Binnie applauding Eva Problem's imagery of demonic vaginas spontaneously giving birth to a pack of fully grown wolves, or Austin Walker relating to Jeremy Penner's experience of life after semi-divorce, or Anna Anthropy expressing sympathy for Michael Brough's tribute to a lost scarf, or Auriea Harvey commiserating with Mary Hamilton's moving stories and falling for those "wrong blond boys."

That's what matters. That's what's worth preserving.

So again, this isn't really a history of the "circa 2013 personal queer confessional Twine scene movement revolution" because it doesn't really care about history in the way that history books care about history.

It can't even claim to cover the "Twine scene", with its omission of Merritt's own work, Porpentine's work, Mastaba Snooby, Solarium, Fear of Twine, and countless other Twines... and Merritt agrees, emphasizing at the end of her introduction, "This is a book about Twine. But let's not let it be the book, yeah?"

Videogames for Humans is about tone, attitude, and embodying an approach.

It seeks to structurally re-imagine and model this radically-unradical way to experience games, to think about the aesthetics of games in grounded experiential ways instead of faffing about the framerate or weapon stats or strategy. (Although the book even covers that base with Naomi Clark's excellent dissection of the mathematical alchemy in Tom McHenry's cybernetic horse mutant farming simulator.)

Ok, yeah, numbers are fun... but, like, so are feelings?

DISCLOSURE: I bought this book with my own money.

Stick Shift on Greenlight

"Immersion Phallicy" at Reverse Shot

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Brendan Keogh did a lovely write-up of my recent work for Reverse Shot, an online magazine at the Museum of the Moving Image.
Yang, on the other hand, crafts characters that are so perfectly imperfect as to fall square into the uncanny valley, that space where the more realistic an animated character or robot looks, the more those slight imperfections stand out. Yang’s men are disturbing in their uncanniness. Visually, his games explore the visual depths of uncanny male bodies that other video games deliberately avoid. There’s the slight gut and unshaved snail-trail on the naked character in front of his bathroom mirror in Cobra Club. There’s the way the character of Stick Shift bites his bottom lip and lets his eyes roll back as he moves up his car’s shaft and through his car’s gears. It makes the games unsettling, uncomfortable, and disturbing on a very visceral and intimate level. It makes the games sexual without necessarily being sexy.
Read the full essay here. Thanks for the thoughtful words, Bren-Bren!
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